The Head Room

Peering through dust

2012-01-02T12:59:00.000-08:00

So, I've had a vague notion rambling about in my head for several days now. I can't say that I've thought about it directly, because....well, it's a vague notion. As I think about it, I'm not even sure what sparked my reflection, it seems to have come out of the blue. But maybe I'm just saying that because it is officially a new year, and I'm trying desperately to avoid the cliched New Years reflection post. Anywho, as you can tell....I've been thinking, about stuff.
Mostly about why it is I'm trying to do what I'm trying to do. College, Ministry....seminary, and so on. I've started coming to a conclusion today and honestly I have a hard time picturing myself responding to my salvation differently. Although catholic school, half-hearted youth group participation, and several friends most definitely contributed to a foundation of understanding, I can't honestly point north, west, east or south and say with confidence "My belief came from there". I even believe differently now than I did then (I hope my belief is more informed). I just remember sitting on my bed, and bam.....out of nowhere I became a Christian. I didn't even know what that meant at the time, I just suspected it's truth.
The greatest things in my life; my faith, my marriage, my current job, and my daughter have all been unbidden intrusions into what I thought I wanted. I endeavor to make a career out of ministry because I can't reconcile how I was saved with doing anything else. I have received everything in such a way that it all calls me out to work towards it after it's been given to me.
But more than that, I am who I am. Not in the sense that I wont ever change, or can't step away from vocational ministry for practical reasons, but I shudder when I imagine having to do that...not out of fear, but what could be grief.

A Random Sleepless Notion

2011-08-23T01:49:00.000-07:00

Yup, it's one of those nights...hot, and sleepless. So as I sit here peering over the vast sea of code that is the internet I figured I'd at least be constructive. We've been preaching through the book of Ecclesiastes (my favorite book of the Bible) at Cascade, and it's harrowing application has got me thinking. We tend to equate worldly success with God's favor, what I mean is that we find ultimate blessing when good things happen to us. Do we find those blessings in the hard times? I want to say that I do, but I'd probably be lying. I don't want people to think that I'm somehow against seeing the handiwork of God in our lives, but I do want to point out that the same hand that gives also, sometimes, takes away. I think the challenge is to rejoice in Him, during both plenty and want, and understanding that whether he provides or removes it is to kill our sin, and deliver us to Glory. With that in mind, if it's a season of plenty....be generous; if it's a season of "want" take heart that God is good, and be generous as well.

Saved From What?

2010-09-23T13:00:00.000-07:00

So, I've been thinking about the practical application of God's saving grace lately. The sanctifying part of it at least, and in talking to some friends and hearing about their lives I've come to some conclusions. As Christians we tend to be hostile to our surroundings. We look at the world around us and see all the evil and problems as partially responsible for our actions. The cause, and causality of sin and society does have a strong relationship, but not in the way that we think. Think about this for a bit, we often view our sinful heart as a reaction to society and circumstances. But, I think that the shoes is on the other foot. Our circumstances, and those of society at large are a collective result of our sinful hearts. As we fall into this line of thinking it incapacitates our ability to honestly repent, and allows us to avoid the light of the Gospel illuminating our sin. Repentance is a mute point when somebody else is really responsible.
I don't think God's salvation necessarily saves us from our circumstances. But that God's salvation allows circumstances to effect us so He can save us from our deceitful hearts.

Beholding Infinity

2010-05-20T13:58:00.000-07:00

Here's something to chew on. God is the only being who exists in a state of rest; while the rest of us crash like waves onto the rocky face of his nature. Such as this is we, as human beings, are subject to the tyranny of the now. We think of our current position is a sort of ultimate, even though our position will be changed as soon as thirty seconds from now. Such as it is, "then" will be "now" and "now" will be dead. If what seems to be ultimate is actually shifting, can it be considered ultimate?

In the midst of what seems to be the freewheeling whirl of time and space God (being the entity at rest) holds "now" in his hands. Not only now, but also what could have been now five minutes ago had I chosen an americano instead of a latte. Interestingly enough, he has ordained things so that our "now" is part of his ultimate plan. What I mean is that, through our choices and decisions we live in the revelation of God's will. Like a constant unveiling. So, when we choose something, for good or for bad, we eliminate all possibilities for contingent reality. Or rather, God eliminates them through us. So that where we are will always be where he wanted us; though we may try to rebel against it, we will always end up there and we are forced to reckon with the hard fact that it never would have, nor ever could be different.

Because only an entity at rest, can dominate one in motion.

PestilANTS!!!!

2010-01-26T11:47:00.000-08:00

So I have a theory concerning the ants residing around the area of my apartment complex. I think they're actually trained in the arts of guerrilla warfare. They have clandestine, covert, and otherwise secret societies under my apartment where normal black ants are recruited and trained as Ninja warriors. A secret society of looters that supply what could be considered the Ho Chi Minh Trail of cookie crumbs. They have skillfully evaded my every attempt to destroy their kind. They eat poison and survive, and scout out Ant traps. Yes, they scout them out. I'm not crazy, I've watched an ant crawl to the entrance of a trap that would have wiped out their secret Ninja organization, a few quick passes with their highly sensitive feelers and he alerted the rest of his fellow ninja pirate Ants with his mind. HE ALERTED THEM TELEPATHICALLY. I'm not joking....the feelers went in the air and I could almost hear the caution go out "Exercise prudence concerning recent food presence, it is a trap. I repeat, THE FOOD IS POISON!!!"

I smell a plot! I think they're planning to execute an attack that will increase their bounty from mere crumbs to the whole cookie jars. Our pies and pastries are no longer safe! With such intricate training, what is man to do? I fear for the safety of my family, and that of my neighbors. What about Caelen, the two year old next door? Just this morning I intercepted plans for an all out assault! An attack, during which, the poor toddler will be abducted and brainwashed to think like them! From that point hence he will be spotted breaking into homes with a mass of ants trailing along behind him. With such enormous stores of food and the ability to enter homes with impunity I fear that a race of atomic super ants (such as the one pictured above) will be soon within their grasp. The armies of the world will have to join together to fight them off like an H.G Wells novel. What bleak times lie in our future. Only God can save us now!

Here's to you Mr. Robertson..Jesus loves you more than you must know.

2010-01-16T00:49:00.000-08:00

I'm writing this because, disturbed as I was by Robertson's comments regarding the recent tragedy in Haiti, I am even more disturbed by the hostile response of many evangelical Christians. At some point we have have to recognize that Robertson's statement has absolutely no grounding in the Bible, and that he doesn't even reflect the majority of Christian opinion in America.

If our witness as a church is set so far back because of one man's poor tact in the face of tragedy, well then, I'm afraid our witness has been too weak to begin with. If somehow, in the ears of those who don't believe in Jesus, Robertson's statement seems to speak for all of us. Then it's only because we haven't spoken for ourselves enough. You see, our silence has made his voice louder.

Ironically, while we sit around and gnash our teeth over his statement over our specialty coffee drinks; Robertson's charity organization is headed to Haiti, or even digging through the rubble already.

Remember this, salvation is a spiritual thing, not a media driven popularity contest. Neither God's efficacy or power to save are deterred or lessened by Pat Robertson's media blunders. The church ought to challenge and exhort Robertson gently because it's God's kindness leads us to repentance. A man that has said so many weird things will have a lot to grieve over when his time comes. Lashing out at him now is a lot like whipping a starving person when he tries to steal bread. It's a mean and empty form of justice.

Late Night Reading

2010-01-14T22:40:00.001-08:00

So, when I have a hard time sleeping I tend to get up and read news articles in the desperate hope that some bad journalist will lull my brain into a foggy stupor. Most people read the news and get stressed out, I read the news and both my brain and soul tend to go a little numb. Unless of course, it's news of a "fresh off the presses" Smashing Pumpkins song on their website. Seriously, they make their music available for free download on Smashing Pumpkins.com. Does it sound too good to be true? Yes, but thankfully it's still true in this case. Anyway after taking some Valerian root (those are sleeping pills for hippies...I'm in Oregon, give me a break) I get online and I run into this article. Go read it, then come back because I've got something to say.

Okay here's the deal, we all hate security lines in airports, and quite frankly the idea of a room full of security guards pouring over camera monitors creeps me out. But, I appreciate their efforts as I can still remember turning my t.v on just in time to say a plane crash into a freakin sky scraper. Is it weird that security guards still check this poor kid at airports? No, not really...maybe an addendum on the selectee list saying something like "By the way, the 8 yr old boy scout is clean" would be helpful, but that's one of the prices you pay for wanting to be discrete. Speaking of discretion in matters of security...I say boo! We could learn from India on that point. They put fully armed military personnel in Airport security. We're not talking glocks and a nightstick here. We're talking machine guns and body armor. It's an impressive thing to see.

We all get uppity when we hear about one person getting frisked "unnecessarily", but you have to remember that certain groups apparently like using commercial airliners as weapons. So, maybe give the TSA guy a break, he's just trying to keep you safe while the flight attendants overcharge you for you coca-cola. After all, the last time airport security decided to be nice to a guy it probably really ruined the trip for the Dutch man that had to tackle him before he set off a bomb in his underwear.

Regarding Christmas and Coming Hope

2009-12-21T10:23:00.000-08:00

So this year I've taken it upon myself to use the Christmas season to present the Gospel as it appears in the Bible. I don't intend for this post to be a public discussion, but more of a chance for personal examination. I'm not out to prove anything or argue the scientific feasibility of miracles. I don't care about Creationism or Evolution or any other sort of social issue at hand between Christianity and the rest of the world. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns that you would like answered feel free to send me a message and I will take the time to answer it to the best of my ability (because I have lots of time.....maybe not so much ability). I'm not looking for anything from anybody in posting this, I'm more trying to inaugurate a personal tradition (which means you can expect this every year), because it seems like Christmas involves everything except the in depth presentation of what traditional Christianity holds to be true regarding the birth of Jesus.

~Regarding Sin and our Need of Rescue.~

Most of us know the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. So I'm just going to highlight the fall of man here for the purpose of making this all relevant. An important, and often missed, detail concerns the fruit that Adam and Eve were tempted by Satan to eat. Was the fruit important? Probably, but we can gain more significance from the act of eating. Looking at the dialog between Adam, Eve, and the serpent we see that Adam and Eve, though tempted, made an active decision to disobey God (Genesis 3). It's true that they were tempted, and they couldn't so much control what was being said to them, but they intellectually submitted their personal authority to the idea that was presented to them. Adam and Eve, having received the information about the fruit, evaluated it and decided to go with the Serpent. Now the fruit of the tree was the knowledge of good and evil. This is important because God had plans for Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve had the opportunity to learn this concept from God himself, but they chose to understand it in their own limited capacity.

So that was Adam, and Eve...what about me? For the most part, we're all making our own decisions in the same exact way that they did. Filtering our own input of information, and relying on our own interpretation of world events. We're exactly the same as Adam and Eve. But we're not just victims of an inherited condition (even though it is inherited in a way), we actively ignore outside input and rely on our own capabilities. Christian and non-Christian alike. This is the essence of sin. Now when talking about sin we could easily get on a moral superiority kick, and I really don't want that to happen. Morality is a human response to a deep seated, and spiritual problem. Sin isn't just lying, or stealing. It's the feeling of shame, the concept of failure and guilt. It's the root of fear and helplessness. Sin is the chain that holds you down. We address these things on a solely moral level because we feel like it gives us power but it really does nothing. It's just like Adam and Eve covering their nakedness with leaves, and hiding from God. Do the leaves adequately cover their nakedness, or address the guilt that they felt? Did hiding provide them any sort of comfort? No, the guilt of their nakedness remained (leaves or no leaves), and even though they hid in shame they were found out, revealed. You could say that morality, for the most part, is a sinful way of responding to sin. Here's what I mean: The whole concept of morality is like putting a band-aid on a severed limb. Not nearly enough to staunch the flow of blood. In addition to the band-aid/dismemberment illustration imagine that you're traveling somewhere and need to climb a ledge get a better vantage point to see the road ahead. But the ledge is too high and the rock surface surrounding it gives no hand hold. So you just stand there, grab a fist full of hair and try to pull yourself up. We are, all of us, trying to do that very thing, pull ourselves up by our own hair. You can take a moment and see the issues in your life where you try to do this, be it your struggling marriage, some sort of addiction, some primal and crippling fear, depression and anxiety. In all these things humanity is helpless, because no man can make it to that ledge on his own. We're all a bunch of gory one armed people pulling out our own hair. Even if we looked to the needs of each other, would couldn't possibly address them. We need somebody that can preform surgery for the missing limb, and stretch a hand down to help us up. But looking around we just see a bunch of armless and hairless people struggling in the same way we are. God's incarnation in Jesus Christ presents us with that surgeon, and is the hand stretching down from the ledge.

Jesus and the Incarnation

What we have in Jesus is the perfect remedy for our existing situation. His presence in the world is akin to a military medic wading through our dismemberment to heal and dress our wounds. Those things that we are afraid, and ashamed of. Those hopeless failures in our lives, the racking guilt of past decisions. These are the present concerns of Jesus. The important and central truth in Christianity is that God, in his fullness, became a man. That he might walk through our world with us, being subject just like we are to hunger, sadness, grief, and anxiety; yet at the same time possessing in himself an ultimate, divine solution. He is the only man on that ledge. In order for mankind to be free from our own morality, for us to stop trying to pull ourselves up by our own hair God himself became one of us, that he would be a new kind of Adam. A man that depended solely upon divine input for his life. It all comes down to the matter of birth, death and rebirth (or resurrection). God became Man so that man would be recreated. The only way for us to be free from this world is death. Jesus came that he might die for us, and being the only one who has been truly obedient, his death is the only thing that can reverse the death we have through Adam (and ourselves). Which is the death of failure, and shame. Through his sacrifice on the cross he not only dresses our wounds, but replaces what was missing, and in his resurrection he stands on the ledge, not to pull us up, but from there to guide us through the remainder of our lives. To replace our input with his, which is in effect to free us from our own personal tyranny and helpless effort. The rest of life as a Christian then consists of living in the presence of spiritually replaced values, and convictions. It is to live in the world as if we were not living in it at all. To depend on God's miraculous input above all else. We believe that Jesus will return and when that happens, our sources of input will become permanent.

Merry Christmas

~For to us a child has been born~

(Isaiah. 9:6)

Life as Art - A letter to my readers.

2009-10-12T10:04:00.000-07:00

Hi All,

So you have no doubt noticed that I do not write with great frequency these days, and it's not that I am lacking any sort of peace of mind or inner stillness or anything like that, but more that I seem to have reached the end of my skills as they exist naturally within my person. Don't worry, I'm far from putting down my pen, but I am a ways off from learning how to better use it. I'm currently using my energy to find a job that will satisfy my wants from employment, and trying to track down college folk to find out the best course to pursue my education. Right now it's looking like a tie between Ph.D's in Creative Writing, or American and British Literary Modernism. Who knows...maybe I'll get both. In the meantime I am helping a local writer by editing his screenplay. I am rather stalled out on both of my pieces so I figure helping somebody else succeed might be a good way to channel my desire to be artistically involved and keep my chops up (so to speak).

Now, here is the point that I've been wanting to convey to all of you (whomever you may be) for some time now, but somehow lacked the words to voice it. In light of my writer's block I have struggled to put words to paper, or come up with music of my own which only served to bring me to this conclusion. Creativity is useless without inspiration.

Creativity is useless without inspiration.

Look at writers like Woody Allen, or songwriters like Damien Rice. Sure, they still create something; but it's always some jangle of broken ideals and neurotic views on sexual conquest. As if the world needs more of that somehow. Don't read too much into what I'm saying here, I think that Woody Allen and Damian Rice are both very talented artists...I just don't prefer their basic level of material. I trust that both of them occasionally rise above their base levels, but the mob prefers their more crude materials. Then again, I could be wrong. All in all; I feel a great swell of pity for the artists that are trapped in their development by their fans. We fans do a great deal of abuse in that way. But I digress, so I'll just jump right back on track here.

What I've come to in the lack of creative inspiration is a proper view of my own life as being a piece of art. But crafted and wielded by a far worthier Hand. This isn't to say that everything I do is beautiful, or even good and admirable. But more that even the things that come out of me that look ugly are being blended and incorporated into something far greater and more beautiful than I could ever fathom. So rather than capturing these things with a mind and a voice that needs honing, I am content to be a part in what God is doing in the world. I am more content to be a part of that. It's a lot like playing music without recording it. The sound is vibrant and full of life in the present, and then it's gone. I rather prefer things that way right now because, for the time being, to try and hammer them into words would do them injustice. This way I can look on a fonder memory of past beauty as it grows and is distilled by present circumstance. One day (and soon I should hope) I will put all into words, music, or photographs. But for now I'd rather experience the true art.

Of course every once in a while, the bubble will rise in my soul and I will write it down for you, but it may not be often.

Thanks for reading!

~Matticus

May My Insomnia Be Your Blessing

2009-09-25T01:01:00.000-07:00

Winds blow,
fates change,
and life continues in endless strain:
the slow march from birth to eternity.

Life!
bursting forth from dawn to dawn
with new stories yet to be told.
Awaited by slumbering ears.

Moving~by Matt Allhands

Devotional Dilemma

2009-08-10T23:25:00.000-07:00

So I volunteered to deliver a devotional at this weeks men's prayer breakfast, and I realized that there is a slight problem. My devotional life sucks. It all came to me at once, but I realized that things haven't been quite the same since I came out to Montana 5 years ago. It's as if I've overused, or hyper-extended my external spiritual expressions to the point where I can't put weight on the sprain. Of course this isn't to say that I don't feel close to the Lord or anything else ridiculous like that, but I really just wanted to take the opportunity to pursue the notion of a sprained spiritual expression for the sake of those who may feel the same way from time to time. I've come to notice in the past few months that my Christianity, or my relationship with Jesus has taken an interesting shape over the past year. I see things in a different way than I ever would have anticipated. Definitely not going to be made into a precious moments figurine any time soon. I play my cards pretty close to my chest because I spent the majority of my time with people who: A: Don't understand the things of God. or B: Hate and deride any form of religious sentiment. What's interesting about it is that it has been really good for me. My lack of devotional zeal, and fatigue from work in a "Godless environment" have taken me back down to the cold hard basement of my faith. The concrete, and unalterable truths that, though I'd rather not pursue most of the time, chill my feet with an inescapably solid assurance of a real presence that I'll experience more of later. So, if you're in the same boat, I would exhort you to enjoy your time in the cut and dry period. Life (that is to say, Christ) will eventually lead you and I to far greener pastures, but until then I think it's better to dwell in a harsh reality than a fluffy lie.

Some Thoughts

2009-05-21T08:37:00.000-07:00

I haven't written personally in a while now, because I've been busy. I've been busy and tired. Life is quite the force to reckon with sometimes. Especially when you aren't spending your time enjoyably. That is to say, that you aren't doing something you love. But then again, I think some aspects of maturity involve being able to prioritize things well in order to get to a better situation. Children want all good things to come at the same time, and our culture is very childish on that point. Billy Corgan (lead singer of the Smashing Pumpkins) said it best "Our culture is set on orgasm, and nobody is interested in the things that have led to a particular artist's greatest work, we just all want the best all the time." (that's a massive paraphrase incidentally). So before I head off to a job that I don't enjoy very much, and shut myself away from the sunshine and springtime for 7 hours.

Here's to the process!

Not the process from one job, house, or town to another. Not some social upgrade. But the process of Life. The grand winding Road that demands we follow. The Doors of opportunity that open and shut, closing whole realities behind them, and at the same time allowing other realities to blossom in all their' wonder or horror. Whatever happens, our final destination will so greatly over shadow the roads we've taken that it will seem as if it were all nothing. Shadows and dust scattered on the winds of eternity. One day, we will arrive home.

"The Trappist Cemetery-Gethsemani"

2009-05-15T08:07:00.000-07:00

Brothers, the curving grasses and their daughers
will never print your praises:
The trees our sisters, in their summer dresses,
guard your fame in these green cradles:
The simple crosses are content to hide your characters.

Oh do not fear
the birds that bicker in the lonely belfry
will ever give away your legends.
Yet when the sun, exulting like a dying martyr,
canonizes, with his splendid fie, the sombre hills,
your graves all smile like little children,
and your wise crosses trust the mothering night
that folds them in the Sanctuary's wings.

You need not hear the momentary rumors of the road
where cities pass and vanish in a single car
filling the cut beside the mill
with roar and radio,
hurling the air into the wayside branches
leaving the leaves alive with panic.
See, the kind universe,
wheeling in love about the abbey steeple
lights up your sleepy nursery with stars.

~

God, in your bodily life,
untied the snares of anger and desire,
hid your flesh from envy by these country alters,
beneath these holy eaves where even sparrows have their houses.
But oh, how like the swallows and the chimney swifts
do your free souls in glory play!
And with cleaner flight,
keener, more graceful circles,
rarer, and finer arcs
then all these innocent attacks that skim our steeple!
How like these children of the summer evening
do your rejoicing spirits
deride the dry earth with their aviation!

But now the treble harps of night begin to play in the deep wood,
to praise your holy sleep,
and all the frogs along the creek
chant in the moony waters to the Queen of Peace.
And we, the mariners, and travelers,
the wide-eyed immigrants,
praying and sweating in our steerage cabins,
lie still and count with love the measured bells
that tell the deep-sea leagues until your harbor.

Already on this working earth you knew what nameless love
adorns the heart with peace by night,
hearing, adoring all the dark arrivals of eternity.
Oh, here on earth you knew what secret thirst
arming the mind with instinct,
answers the challenges of God with garrisons
of unified desire
and facing Him in His new wars
is slain at last in an exchange of lives.

Teach us, Cistercian Fathers, how to wear
silence, our humble armor.
Pray us a torrent of the seven spirits
that are our wine and stamina,
because your' work is not yet done.
But look: the valleys shine with promises,
every burning morning is a prophecy of Christ
coming to raise and vindicate
even our sorry flesh.

Then will your graves, Gethsemani, give up their angels,
return them to their souls to learn
the songs of attitude and glory.
Then will creation rise again like gold,
clean from the furnace of your litanies:
the beasts and trees shall share your resurrection,
and a new world be born from these green tombs.

~Thomas Merton

Simplicity

2009-04-14T08:08:00.001-07:00

My wife and I were sitting on our porch Sunday evening, and we somehow got onto the topic of simplicity. Simplicity being something we both strive for it's not really so surprising that we would discuss it, but it was one of those spur of the moment deep conversations, and something we both have a lot to say about. I have to pause here to point out the humorous irony in having a lot to say about simplicity. Anywho, when most people think of simplicity thoughts automatically run to undecorated churches, and white washed pews. People praying throughout the day with monk-like devotion. It's a humorous perspective, but a dangerous one as well. To live simply one does not have to do away with their television, or computer, you don't have to don a monk's habit and spent the rest of your life contemplating the existential meaning of a dandelion. Nor should you attempt to withdraw from society and sit on a mountain top for the rest of your days. In the past few years I have come to realize that simplicity is found in the midst of the daily buzz of human activity.
When God created Adam he set him straight to the wonderful task of exploring Eden, and naming animals. When you think of it, naming all the animals in the world could be rather arduous, and here is where you ought to strip away the Disney-esque picture of God parading pachyderms, hippopotamuses, and giraffes in front of a giddy little boy who bounces up and down with excitement over the spectacle. Maybe Adam had to search these creatures out, and observe them prior to the naming. In any case, my point is that we as people were made to be active. Work is in our very nature. So how do we find simplicity in a world that is teeming with conflict, people, and jobs to be done? Single-mindedness might be the only way it is possible. Be singleminded in all that you do. Doubts and questions always arise to kick up dust in our minds. "Am I doing what God has called me to?' 'Is this benefitting the kingdom?' "Is the Lord pleased with my life?' These questions are always going to be answered yes and no all at the same time. Whether you are living in a tent in Africa translating the Bible to a tribal dialect, or working in an office in New York City. God is pleased with his son's imputed righteousness in your life, the sacrifice of the cross stretches through time and wraps our identity in his, and God is pleased. So don't worry so much about it, if you want to go to Africa...go to Africa. If that is where your' heart is, don't waste anymore time worrying about. Regardless of what you are doing, or where you are. Your' current location and activity is the primary concern of you, and of your sanctification. The main job in our lives as Christians falls into two catagories. Living our lives in the light of Godliness brought forth through the Gospel, and worshipping the Living God in word and deed; spirit, and truth. That is true simplicity.

Thoughts Regarding Studying the Bible

2009-03-20T08:20:00.000-07:00

Over the last summer I decided that I wanted to be more theologically literate, so I asked three or four trusted friends/pastors and they all told me I should go through a Bible Dictionary to start with. I dove right in, and went through the Pentateuch, and kind of stalled out after that. There was a lot of stuff going on in my life (changing jobs and schedules and so forth) so it kind of fell to the background.
Well last week, I started to think about how much I had learned from those five short little articles, copying down the teaching outlines and reflecting on what I remember from the texts themselves. Compared to a seminarian or a Pastor my knowledge is pretty insignificant, but on a personal note there were many things regarding the Cross and the deity of Jesus that became crystal clear. I've picked my studies back up, and just finished Joshua yesterday. It was great to see the Israelites enter the Promised Land, and to know that even though they were finally delivered into Canaan, that there was still much to do. They still had to live out there lives as God's Chosen people, if anything, it was more difficult for them as a nation after they entered the land than it was before.

Anyway, I just wanted to take a minute to encourage all my friends (Christian and non-Christian alike) to really read and think about the Bible. I know sometimes it's hard to pick it up and just read it, we all have things to do during our day. But what better occupation is there than to dwell on the Grace and sovereignty of God? Sometimes study seems like striving, like some sort of inorganic chore or task, and for most of us we struggle against things that don't feel "natural". But I think God would remind us all that what is natural to us is sin. That is to say that we are used to living our lives as if He weren't there. We might all do better with a little striving now and then. After all, the pursuit of God is active.

Musing

2009-02-27T19:57:00.000-08:00

Over the past few weeks I've begun to grasp what it is to be a creation. That is to say that I have come to understand my finite-ness in a very different way. Rather than being frustrated by my lack of output (strictly in an artistic sense), I've been learning to appreciate the fact that, regardless of what I create, I am part of a greater story. It's as if I'm one strand being woven through a greater work, and what I might be tempted to call a loose end will one day wind it's way to a fitting destination. And, because of that wondrous notion (that I am a mere character questioning my author) I can look back on the recently past years of my life and find some sort of peace with them.

2009-02-26T08:31:00.000-08:00

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
stand in the desert...Near them, on the sand,
half shrunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
and wrinkled lip, a sneer of cold command,
tell that it's sculptor well those passions read
which yet survived, stamped on these lifeless things,
the hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
the lone level sands stretch far away.
Ozymandias ~P.B Shelley

Why I Refuse To Vote

2008-10-21T16:56:00.000-07:00

Just a few years ago Americans would have to wait another two weeks to rush to their polls and cast their vote for the Presidential candidate of their choosing. Voting is one of the major patriotic means of expression for Americans, or should I say it used to be. With the election coming up and the storm of media pushed campaigning it's hard to say who we're actually voting for. That is to say, that it's hard to see where each candidate actually stands on the issues facing the American people. After considerate (although not extensive) review I have decided not to vote in this upcoming election. I am not meaning to be lazy about the future of our country nor am I uninterested in the election. I am frustrated in most areas surrounding this years campaign, and in a few I am just plain angry. In this short article I intend to cover the areas that support why I am protesting the upcoming election, and I hope to show the integrity of my position as well.
First of all, lets talk about the candidates. Barak Obama and John McCain have been on the trail for quite some time now and their are reasons that I cannot align myself with either of their political views. Obama stands boldly in the women's right to choose, and fails (even as a Senator) to uphold the Constitutional Rights of the unborn populace of America. In the preamble the Bill of Rights plainly states that it is the Government's job to insure Live, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness to it's citizens. Seems like abortion in that case is a breach of the Constitution in a very major area. Is it not the government's responsibility to preserve life, even unborn life, for it's citizens? The answer should be yes. Do I have a religious standing on this position as well? Absolutely, but for the sake of brevity I wont go into them. Although I don't thinkI need another reason for my lack of support for Obama's presidency I do have some more. He's only been a Senator for two years, one of those years being spent on his campaign. As a candidate for President in a time that calls for a strong, experienced leader Obama simply doesn't really fit the bill. Not to mention the increase of federal power that the Democratic party feels is necessary or a President to rule the nation. Make no doubt about, increased Presidential power will eventually lead to tyranny over the American people. This is seen most evidentally in the appointment of Supreme Court judges over the past few decades. Aside from that, Obama believes that it is the Government's right to redistribute the wealth of the American population from those who have to those who don't. Although Obama plans to redistribute wealth, he also plans to tax more independant business owners, who although they may have extenuating circumstances, will have to pay more if they net more than a certain amount of money per year. Seeing as how the income tax is a historically new circumstance for Americans, and a disagreeable on at that. I cannot, in good conscience, support his Presidency. Because he does not uphold the Constitution, plans to meddle in small American industry, and displays a lack of experience in the world of domestic politics as well as global politics he is simply not qualified for the role of Commander and Chief.
Now on to McCain, McCain seems to contradict Obama's lack of experience and failure to honor the Constitution at almost every turn. And yet I still can't preserve my integrity as an American citizen and vote for him at the same time. My reasons for this are a bit more subtle, and more personal in this matter so please bear with me. First and foremost, for the past few weeks I have heard little discussion of policy and more mud smearing and name calling from McCain's campaign. Rather than clearly presenting their campaign stances on economic, and foreign policy issues the McCain/Palin campaign has focused on making Obama look bad. Now in addition to political experience being a prerequisite for the Presidential office, I consider a display of strong character to be paramount. Sure he stands against Roe vs. Wade, and is vocal on the rights for the infant population of America, but he does so in a way that is unproffessional and downright childish. In my mind a Presidential candidate should voice his policy boldly, and let the chips fall where they may. There should be no participation in media driven name calling and sound byte manipulation. There is almost no way of telling what any of these candidates have actually said in context because of the politically driven media coverage of the election. I say in context, because context is a very important thing. A statement made by a person is a very powerful thing, and we deserve to hear the full story. Each candidate should be represented in fullness by media coverage, and I would go as far to say that any sort of "creative editing" of political campaign material ought to be a federal offense. In addition to all of these things McCain has failed to address the recent economic issues facing America in the way that I think a strong leader should. Simply but, big businesses who take ought outrageous loans and fail to pay them ought to be shouldered with the consequences of that failure. Because we're the ones who really pay for it. Please consider the Republican means of dealing with big business....tax breaks, tax breaks for everything. What these businesses do in turn is take their sweet tax breaks and start pactices overseas, which robs the American people of money, and removes credit and capitol from the country. How do you think the recession started in the first place? America doesn't need a jump start anymore, we need to revive American domestic industry and start exporting goods rather than importing them. American companies need to operate in America, and I don't see that happening under a Republican candidate who is funded by companies that are taking money from American banks and investing them in foreign markets.

Now for my religious reasons:

Being a Christian in America means a lot of things to a lot of people. Sadly a lot of those things have little or nothing to do with Jesus Christ, or my life lived out as his disciple. To put it plainly we have allowed ourselves to become caricatures of what could be a very real and vital expression of faith in our country. Sidelined by issues of abortion and same sex union the church by and large has become distracted from the core issues of the Gospel and our lives as Christians. These things seem to come into focus dramatically whenever a political discussion lands on the table. As Christians it seems that we are almost expected to vote Republican every time the opportunity presents itself simply because we are stuck in the mud of a cultural war. This cultural war began some twenty to thirty years ago with the Moral Majority movement and still limps on today in most modern evangelical churches. We, as Christians, are by and large called to vote Republican on the issue of moral legislation, and in focusing on that we have failed to disciple the American population. Mere legislation does not support, encourage, or cause the cultural transformation that America so desparately needs. It simply puts a band aid on it and marginalizes those who do not agree. Marginalization is not a part of the Gospel, nor is political involvement. Voting is not evangelism, and therefore is not enough to preserve the society in which we live. For that transformation to take place the church in America needs to repent, and return to a Biblical worldview. In short, Christianity needs to get out of the voting boothes, turn off the O'Reilly Factor and get outside it's churches and bookstores, and into the world that needs it's influence.
Now here is where I get angry. Most savvy political candidates are keen on the evangelicals loud cry for more morally responsible legislation, and rather than treating us as we are we have been pigeonholed and turned into a demographic. I'm sure you all remember the faith issue of Bush vs. Kerry in the last election. Both candidates were eager to look spiritual for the American people, not in order to show their true colors, but more to appeal to a cultural demographic of Christianity. Jesus needs not to be patronized by a Presidential candidate, nor does Christianity need to be in the White House for it to be successful in fulfilling the Great Commision. Quite on the contrary, we are a body of people who have spread the Gospel most effectively through persecution and bold testimony. We as a national body of believers need to understand that the Gospel needs no President to support it, nor do we need a body of laws to make America seem more Holy. It either is or it isn't, Christianity and Democracy are two completely separate entities, and as followers of Jesus we should cry foul when the Lord is used as a means of advertisement. And that, more than any other reason is why I will not be an active participant in this upcoming election. I will not be patronized, and I will not tolerate the Gospel to become a matter of law that denies civic rights to those who disagree with us. We are not an Imperial faith, we are a vital faith, and as such, should accept no imitations of our holy faith. As a Christian I will humbly submit to whomever wins the Presidency, and will follow every law as long as it does not contradict that of the Bible.

All that being said, I demand that everybody thinks for themselves, and if you disagree with me, feel free to voice that here , or simply to disagree. Whatever you do, do it that God may be more glorified in the world. Thank you for your attention, and I hope that this may be of benefit to you.

~Matt

"Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of His glory with great joy, to the only God, our Saviour, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority before all time now and forever. Amen" Jude 24-25

Sojourning

2008-09-05T08:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes life takes you places that you don't want to go, and away from the company that you'd rather keep. Looking back on my travels I can see the truth in that, and to some extent it grieves my heart to know that the friends I've had and left behind I might never have again until Eternity. Even this last move, that was only 15 miles down the road from where I was, I now start to miss things about the place I've just left. The fellowship and common purpose that is, not the mess. But I guess that's the thing about life is that, at times, it seems kind of aimless and meandering. In these times it's easy to feel the dissonance of experience and faith. The lack of resolution that comes from the perpetually unanswered question of why. But I wonder what it is that is in us that expects anything better than cosmic silence. What it is that demands that we have stability now, in a world that's turbulent because of our lack of righteousness. That's one of the greatest things about Christianity, the fact that God isn't afraid to let us feel the weight of time, and the burden of experiencing life outside of eternity. He isn't afraid to let us deal with what we've done, and at the same time he promises eternity to those of us who are willing to fight our unbelief for his sake, and sojourn through this life on his terms, even when his terms seem to do us more harm than good. I see through a dirty glass, and even the unclear image of Heaven is overwhelming to me, and the desire for it is, maybe, more intense because I know that were it not for God's purposes I would not be here. But I can always look forward to the moment when my life here will seem like a shadow passing, and I feel the freedom that my heart cries out for.

Musings

2008-08-03T21:01:00.000-07:00

I don't really know what I want to write right now, but I figured that writing is better than not writing. I've been thinking about a lot lately, especially the passage of time. A weird thing to ponder I know, and I should probably find better things to do with the time I have right now rather than looking back one things that have been, and never again will be. But life is funny like that, it seems like there are a million things that tear us away from where we are right now, in the instant. Plans for the future, or frustrations from the past. But neither past, present, nor the future have ever really been in our grasp.
We've just built cute little towers of illusory controls out of our jobs and our hobbies. Trinkets to distract our hands from rending our garments. Don't get me wrong, I don't think we should rend our garments....we'd have to buy new clothes if we did. Keep the trinkets, they're God given in a sense. Like the stories that parents tell their children to distract them from the monster that they believe is under the bed. They talk just long enough for the child to fall asleep. Grace is a lot aspirin, helping us to deal with the worst of ourselves while we wait for that sweet day when even grace and faith pass away into knowledge, or at least take on new meaning. That brilliant morning when all the preaching and evangelism, all the pain and the confusion simply stop. Then, the trinkets will become something different, something animated and real. Like hopes that put on flesh to walk with us as friends, and talk of the beauty that they have been allowed to convey in this life.

Remember The Coming Return

Out Of The Mud

2008-07-18T08:01:00.000-07:00

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, especially since I had known the person for over two years. It was a simple message at a YWAM community meeting in Holland near the end of our European outreach. Just some worship songs, a piece of reader's theatre, and a short message. For those of you who know me you wont be surprised that the minute the opportunity to speak had presented itself my hand shot into the air (as it always does). I'm not a spotlight hog, nor am I one of those people who is always gunning for the center of the stage. I wanted off the stage all year actually. But I do love to teach and preach, I guess it's something about helping people to see God in a different, more orthodox way, that really appeals to me. I've fallen flat on lessons a couple of times of course, but that's true about every aspect of performer, teacher, or Pastor. Anyway, I digress. I saw the question coming, "Have you prayed about it?" Well, of course not I thought to myself, did you see how fast my hand went up....not exactly a whole lot of time to pray there. I didn't say any of that, I just kind of stammered and looked confused which apparently said a lot more than I would have verbally. The next statement was "I don't want you to volunteer unless you're sure God is laying a specific message on your heart." My next thought was probably not very sanctified...so I'll spare you. Long story short, I confirmed my conviction to speak and went to pray and prepare. A great message came to me during that time.
The next installment of the saga was being informed that my message was to be a testimony of God's goodness throughout my experience of the accident. Well, that's sort of what it was so I affirmed it, and agreed (though tactfully substituting the word message for testimony). An accident testimony would've sounded like this...I almost died, but I didn't. I went through three invasive and dangerous operations and came out the other side with a stiff neck, and occasional kidney pain. Oh yeah, and my wife and I are quite in as much debt as we should be. As the week waned on I began to get confused about whether I should rock the boat and deliver the message, or submit and do what my leader had said I was going to do. I prayed about it and decided that it would be better to be on my leader's bad side than the Lords. I'm not too keen on boils these days after all. Besides I had my convictions to consider, and the soundness of the message speaking something specifically constructive for people to hear. I wasn't going to short people out of a meal by offering them a candy bar that just taste good and distract them from the true meal they should have had. The message went great, and the people at YWAM Holland were touched and edified. The only people on my team that had anything to say were my wife, and my friend Wells. I was discouraged.
That experience catalyzes a lot of thought into the general over spiritualized atmosphere of modern Christianity. Most Christians these days would rather pray and cry of Africa than actually go there and help, and there is a general thought that good intentions should count for something? What will happen to the church when my generation takes leadership just to sit in a circle for an hour so they can say "We really moved the Heavens that time."? The hungry will still be hungry, and the Gospel will be lost. Actions, and rational thoughts are spiritual too, we don't need to pray about somethings like charity, or where to go on missions trips. We can look at the needs around them, and sacrifice ourselves to meet them, we can look into our hearts and realize that we've always wanted to go to Nepal, or India. Christianity, when it's simple, is more dangerous to it's practitioners. So, we've complicated things through the guise of spirituality, and touchy-feely candle lit worship services. We've traded the real Jesus for one that gives a thumbs up for our complacency and says "Hey man, don't worry about it, what could you have done anyway?"

Musical Fusion

2008-07-11T07:57:00.000-07:00

I think music is one of the most fascinating aspects of life in our neat little world. Genesis never says anything about God creating sound, but as we know scientifically sound is a direct reaction of vibrations traveling through an atmosphere. Don't get me wrong here, I do believe that sound was an intentional part of creation. But, it's organization into music is something far more than natural. Looking at the world around us, there are lots of creatures who grunt, trumpet, or squawk to communicate with each other. Some bird calls may be called singing, but they're nothing like that in fact, God just made their means of communication beautiful and pleasing to hear.
Music is different, it's man's harnessing of the natural world around us. Our participation in the great motion of the spheres. When musicians tune to a 440A what they're actually doing is tuning themselves to the note that the earth itself makes while it spins. How's that for organic? All this to say, I love playing music, I love hearing a song and adding my two cents to it, letting it grow into it's own entity and statement. I love talking to my fellow band mates through my instrument. Using something so raw and natural instead of words seems to cut through the fog of the "that's good for you, but it's not for me" kind of world. Instead appealing to some intellectual defense, it pulls at the essence of man. Wrenches his gut, lifts his soul, and strikes like a sanctifying hammer when the song rings true. Sadly these days, "music" is made on the assembly line in Los Angeles, and most of it says nothing. But art is always like that. The popular media acts as the opiate of the soul, numbing it into hiding, and lulling it to sleep. But, there are still those artists out there whose work, through the spirit, stirs my spirit out of slumber and touches the eternity that I've been given.

Go and be soul full

What Are We Afraid Of?

2008-07-08T06:09:00.000-07:00

More often than not I find myself in a position of struggling between love and hate for the corporate church. For those who may not be used to that term, it means the visible church. The one that meets on Sunday morning and gossips about who raised their hands in worship that day....or who didn't depending on which side of the coin your church is. Church provides a really necessary service in the lives of us sojourners here on Earth, but if you're like me at all, you've noticed that there's a lot missing. The experience of God's fullness seems almost nowhere to be found, I've spoken with people who claim to dwell in this fullness in an experiential way, but I'm suspicious. And should my suspicions be unfounded, well then...I'm downright jealous.
The more I ponder on the "experience of God" the more it seems to travel into my head instead of my nerves and limbs. I'm unsure as of yet whether this is good or not. But one thing is for sure, I do not get ruffled easy these days. I know that God loves me, and I know that he's saying it in every circumstance of my life. Every chance encounter (even the bad ones). I've met pastors, and seen churches where this experience of God is the driving force behind their services....no communion mind you...just laughter and shaking. Or some guy laying on the ground screaming "Freedom!!!" like he's William Wallace. My suspicions don't just arise at that point...they erupt, and most of the time I have to leave before I start laughing at people. If I don't leave....I just tell people that God is showing me his sense of humor....through them. God really is funny though.
My church is into communion, liturgy and acting as if we believe what we read. Every Sunday is a massive injection of orthodox biblical Christianity. And that's the way we all want it. But, despite the soundness of my Pastors preaching, there is no missions effort, and very little evangelism from Joe Schmoe in our church. Alas, when the doors shut to keep in the air conditioning, they trap in a lot more than that. Sadly, though I see the problem, I do little to change it. But on the other hand, I am not here to fix the church...not now, not ever. I'm hear to defend the teaching of scripture and worship Jesus Christ (and those things I will do ferociously), all else amounts to the trifles of a mind with too little to do. Jesus is coming back after all, none of this stuff was ever meant to be perfect by it's own accord, but to be transformed into perfection when this dirty globe turns to chaff and burns away. Christ's righteousness is far from experiential most of the time, but it's still here, and still attributed to those who believe. So, stop trying to wash your own robes, and start asking Jesus to give you new ones.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. " ~John the Evangelist

The Pleasant Taste Of Dust

2008-06-23T16:36:00.001-07:00

The Bible tells us that God uses all things for the good of those who believe in him, I believe that with all my heart. Most of the time I find myself holding on to that notion like Linus clings to his blanket in the Peanuts cartoons. I've come to realize that the good that is mentioned in that passage is the conforming of our sinful identity into the image of Christ. All of these trials we face are meant to transform us in the spirit into that very transcendent person who bought our redemption so long ago. And in the midst of these troubling experiences is a choice; a core decision with eternal implications. All that being said, it doesn't really make any of these experiences easier to go through. I don't really think Job spent his time looking for a silver lining to his boils or his destroyed home and family. So here is where we all sit. Here in the midst of this burning earth and the broken pottery shards while the best of human reasoning blows around us like a storm of dust clouding our eyes. We know the questions we ask "What is God saying?", "Did I do something wrong?", "Has he forgotten?". I can't answer any of those, nor can anybody else for that matter. They aren't bad question either, and don't let anybody tell you any different. These are the thoughts of those who relate to God, those who know him face to face. The truth is that we are pilgrims passing through the veil of this world, living in two places at once. For us, peace and suffering hold hands while they walk down the street. Each spurring the other forward to new depths and testing the new richness of each experience.

"Two paths diverged in a wood; I took the one less traveled, and it made all the difference."

"For the gate is narrow, and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few."

"There will be an answer. Let it be."

Morning Thoughts

2008-06-05T08:08:00.000-07:00

My bag of tricks is small and dusty, worn thin and stretched by use. But it's all I've got, so I keep reaching in trying to stir some glorious thing out of the dust, and occasionally it works. So I keep reaching in and getting my fingers dirty hoping for something interesting to appear in my hands. Sometimes I pull out nothing but dirt, and the wind scatters it from my hands.

More chaff gone out into the wind.

But gone isn't gone, my bag still holds dust, and my fingers are still dirty. But life is funny like that I guess. Outside of the eternal perspective it's hard to see that eternity lies behind a thin veil. A thin dusty veil that is.

Interviews and Ontology

2008-05-31T08:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, so some of you know that I've been searching for a job, and for those of you who know me, or have met me. I've had facial hair since I was about sixteen years old, and long hair since I was 18. I'm 24 now, so you can do the math. Normally I try to search for jobs that fit my personality, jobs that fit my personality and understand that how I look is a part of that. But when one really needs a job, what can you do? Beggars can't be choosers, and although most employers of my generation have come to the understanding that how we present ourselves to the world is a reflection of who we are on the inside. There is a value to how we look that goes much deeper than your normal first impression value. It's a reflection of our ontology (a reflection of who we are). Some people my age take it too far with surgical implants, full body tattoos, and piercings, but they are still representing their value system. Reflecting their uniqueness in all of creation. For instance, I have two tattoos that nobody else will ever have they reflect who I am in Christ, and my membership of the universal church. They could be copied later on....but it's not very likely.
Yesterday, I was panic stricken while trying to find employment. I had applied for over 10 places of business and not one of them called me back. So I went to a grocery store, I've worked in one before, and was over-qualified for the job, but there were two problems. My goatee and ponytail. The manager asked if "I was attached to those", and for a second I didn't know how to answer. The idea that a woman with long hair could work there with impunity while I was forced to change my appearance based upon my gender seemed biased and dishonoring. But even moreso, fifty years ago a man with a beard could probably work anywhere (save for those jobs where facial hair is a hazard. Like fire-fighting or something), but this job wasn't hazardous at all. Look at the picture above...that man's appearance wont ever stand out in a crowd (I don't know him by the way), or draw attention to his characteristics. He has a military hair-cut, and a militarily close shave. He fits in to the ideal, and that's great if that's what he going for. But what about the rest of us? Like I said before, I was over-qualified for the job, and I would've "blended in" if I had to...thank God I didn't. But what value was being exerted on me?

Afternoons Over Coffee

2008-05-27T15:43:00.000-07:00

Allow me to open this posting by saying that, I have nothing important to say whatsoever at the moment. I'm actually just sitting in a coffee shop, which is awkwardly playing a CD I'm on, enjoying my anonymity. My wife and good friend are at a work meeting, and I'm sitting here, on a rather uncomfortable bench typing this message. There is a girl sitting on a red cushioned chair flipping pages in a magazine on the end of the room , a glamour rag no doubt, and listening to her headphones. Listening to her headphones rather than the CD (the one that I play bass on). She's not paying attention to me, actually she's completely unaware that I'm even here in the room typing about her. She'll never know. Although my wife and I frequent this particular cafe, and my wife even works here. I knew nothing about the girl working behind the counter. She doesn't work here much anymore, trying to get a job at a hospital as some sort of physician's something or other. Just like the girl on the other side of the room, she doesn't know that I'm telling you all about her. She knows my friend who works here, the friend who wrote the songs on the album that I played bass on, the album that is playing right now. It's interesting to me that three people can sit in a room and not even say so much as a word to each other. In fact, we'll all walk away without even paying deference to each other. I wont say anything to end-of-the-room girl at all, not even a casual goodbye. I'll probably smile discretely and wave to behind-the-counter-aspiringphysician'ssomethingorother when I leave. But I wont wonder about her life tomorrow, she'll leave my reality and that's pretty much the end on it. It's odd to sit around and do apparently nothing at all, but underneath the surface of it all is a wild and pulsating life of thought and essence. Although none of us have even talked to each other save for the mild pleasantries of commerce, there lies a myriad blanket of thought and intention weaving around all of us like one gigantic, and growing cobweb. And in the midst of that huge cobweb is the Spirit running frantically down the strands that are dusted with the very truths of God.
It's interesting to me that three people can sit in a room and not even say so much as a word to each other. In fact, we'll all walk away without even paying deference to each other. But what seems to be some sort of exercise in isolation is not that all. The things that connect man to man are not things that can be defined or improved upon. They simply are. We are all connected, all involved in this quiet afternoon over coffee, all playing dramatic, and interlocking roles. Weaving back and forth between each other through observation and thought, interpretation and conclusion. All serving a purpose beyond the tangibles that we can see, my friend's CD is singing truth out, bouncing it off the exposed brick walls and into our ears. Stirring sonic truth down to where it counts. Behind-the-counter-aspiringphysician'ssomethingorother is chatting it up with some guy about getting a different job, end-of-the-room girl is studying diligently across the room. I don't know what the subject is, but after spending that much time on her work I'd say that she should pass, but of course, she'll lose some crucial points on a pointless rote learning question that has no reflection on her study skills. Me? I'm just the photographer. None of these people had any idea that they would be the subject in an essay this afternoon, but I had no idea that I would be writing it either. Life is a lot like a Picasso painting, at first it looks like a bunch of bright scribbled lines, but when you step back it's all one canvas. All one afternoon over coffee.

For Carl

2008-05-23T15:45:00.000-07:00

Carl was a man who let his words run,
& run they did.
Wild & free.
They saw the smiling harvest,
and winking cities.
They saw the iron workers and railroads in their ore-clad marches.
They saw the fog settle down with tiny cat's feet,
& cows staring carelessly at the moon
in milk pails.
Carl was a man who let his words run,
and they sure ran fast!
They ran with Van Gogh's brush,
and Debussy's impressions.
Running wild and free.
Wild and Free

Are You Really?

2008-04-30T13:52:00.000-07:00

I sometimes find myself wondering about the term "pro-life", it's shallow, there's virtually no understanding of what it means outside of the obvious social stigma (which is brought forth by our blissfully biased news media). I fear that, most of the time, the slogan reflects those who adorn their bumper stickers, simple, blunt, and not very informative. Are we really a people who are "pro life"? Many statistics show that those who support the "pro-life" initiative also support the death penalty, and the State's military involvement in Afghanistan and Iraq. Now I'm not saying that these things are wrong in and of themselves, but those who would proudly hold up a pro-life sign might want to think twice, because they're unwittingly supporting the forceful taking of life at the same time. Am I saying that abortion should remain legal; that women have the "right to choose"? Absolutely not. I think abortion points to a greater sickness in our society, but I can also substitute the word "abortion", for "war", and "capital punishment". Here's a question for you...Are you opposed to euthanasia? If you answered no, I think you should change your mind soon (we didn't render ourselves alive, so how can we terminate ourselves?). If you answered "yes", than you should be opposed to the death penalty as well (how do you think they execute criminals anyway?). What's wrong with saying I'm anti-abortion after all?

Cookie Cutter Faith

2008-04-21T13:14:00.000-07:00

"Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger.

Ricky Bobby: Dear Lord baby Jesus, or as our brothers in the south call you, "Jezus," we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Dominos, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to say thank you for my family. My two beautiful, beautiful, handsome stricking sons, Walker, and Texas Ranger, or TR as we call him. And of course my red hot smokin' wife Carley, who is a stone cold fox.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: mmm...
Ricky Bobby: Dear tiny infant Jesus...
Carley Bobby: Hey, um... you know sweetie, Jesus did grow up. You don't always have to call him baby. It's a bit odd and off puttin' to pray to a baby.
Ricky Bobby: Well look, I like the Christmas Jesus best, and I'm sayin grace. When you say grace, you can say it to grown up Jesus, or teenage Jesus, or bearded Jesus, or whoever you want."

These days you can buy whatever you want in America. Not only can you organize your entire music collection onto a plastic rectangle, but you can order your musical plastic rectangle in different colors, and buy accessories to the point that it almost fits your individual personality. Or your personality reflects what kind of Ipod you have (I can't remember which is more likely anymore). The consumerism in America is not a problem in and of itself, were people more resilient to advertising, and trends than there wouldn't be any problem at all, but the sad fact is that by marketing things just right, we can take advantage of our brothers and sisters and make money from it. The most disturbing facet of the new American rush of consumerism is hat which has appeared in the Church.
I want my Jesus to be seven feet tall, with cool tattoos, and a sweet gibson guitar strung across his back. Of course, he'll have to smoke a pipe and make his own imperial stout as well. We could sit around, and I could listen to him play blues guitar solo's while we smoke our pipes, and drink the beer he makes. While we were hanging out (which he would refer to as "kickin it") I would ask: "Hey Jesus, what's the meaning of life?"
And he'd be like "Dude, it's like I told you bro, it's all about jiving with my peaceful harmonies. I can't just be all like, here it is...the meaning of life....just listen to this guitar solo I wrote, and feel the groove for yourself."
That's not quite what the bible puts forth as truth though. In a weird way, God is a person in the same way that you and I are people. He is himself, and that is the end of the story. If you and I were to sit down and chat and I crammed a pipe in your mouth, slammed a beer in front of you, and thrust guitar into your hands expecting you to play it for me it would be a pretty short conversation I think. You might choke on the pipe tobacco and cough into the stem...which would make a huge ashen mess all over the floor, raise your eyebrow curiously at the beer, and maybe accidentally kick it over while you try to avoid the guitar I would be shoving in your hands. All in all it would be a really ridiculous experience for both of us. Of course I wouldn't do that to somebody sitting in front of me, but sadly I do do that to God. I expect him to be what I want him to be. The worse thing is when God picks up the guitar I hand him and gives me what I want. It's sad because, at first he offers himself, and when I refuse him he gives me what I want. Less.

Here's to letting God be God instead of trying to make him one of our golf buddies!

Thoughts on Conversation

2008-04-16T13:20:00.001-07:00

Have you ever had a conversation or confrontation with somebody and walked away feeling like you didn't really talk? Like you or the other person wasn't really listening to what you had to say, but spending their time thinking about how to refute your position? Well, it's probably true: when you think about it, you make hundreds of judgments during the time span of your average work day, whether they're about yourself, a co-worker, your spouse, or children. There are literally thousands of unfounded conclusions rampaging through your brain at any given point of time? Kind of mind breaking isn't it? Don't worry, it gets worse. How many of those judgments concern yourself? Everybody has bland spots, prejudices, biased opinions, and preconceived notions, and most people go through their lives without overcoming these blind spots. In fact most of the time we enter into conversations with people, we could actually be casting our personality, or our ideal of a good person over the actuality of the person we're talking too. Sure, no harm done if it's just a passing conversation, but what if it's your spouse?
A few months into our marriage I realized that my wife was a completely different person than I am, which is good. But that make communication tricky. Because other people are just like I am, which means that there are whole worlds of thought that I am not privy to. There is no window in their forehead that shows me what they're thinking, or what they're about to say. So every time I hear myself say something like "I just can't believe somebody would do that." I have to realize that I'm not really allowing that person to be a person at all, but expecting them to be what fits my ideal of a good, caring human being. That being said, that means that a lot of my conversations with people aren't really conversations, just a one way street that I'm trying to get people on to. Conversation implies that somehow there is an exchange of ideas happening, which means that I should be receiving ideas and information, rather than imparting. Imparting information is called teaching, or lecturing....not conversation. I think we miss out as people by filtering other through our biases and preconceived notions. Our world is a very colorful and beautiful place, and there is no way to see that if we don't put down our self-colored lens and see things and people the way that they have been created to be. It's okay to disagree (dare I say it's even good and healthy?), the only people that say that there can't be unity with disagreement, that everybody has to be "like-minded", are people who are either insecure in their leadership, or have a faulty understanding of unity. Unity is a mutual submission based on love, put in simple terms, my willingness to drop my agenda and perspective to see, really see, what another person has to say. Anything short of that will result in me living in a world full of my own reflection. How sad is that?

Why The Fall Sucked II

2008-04-09T12:39:00.001-07:00

Okay, so Eve messed up pretty bad, but where in paradise was Adam when all this was happening? I know a lot of people say that he must have been else where while Eve was talking to Satan (via the snake...which is weird) so let's talk about that for a second. So, say you're hangin out in the world's most beautiful garden ever....in the history of mankind. By that I mean, imagine the most beautiful place you ever seen and multiply it by infinity. Whenever I want to think of Eden I picture the rolling hills of northern California with no roads cutting through them, no sign of industry marring the landscape, and produce growing readily available from the nutrient rich black soil. Okay, you get the picture, now add God's custom made partner, Eve. Adam's only companion, and she's apparently smokin hot. Have you ever seen those old cartoons from the 40's and 50's where the beautiful woman walks by a cartoon wolf and the wolf's eyes pop out of his head, his jaw drops to the floor, and his tongue rolls out of his mouth like a red carpet. Yeah, that word in Hebrew kind of means that. I say kind of because there was no inappropriate carnality in Adam's reaction. Here was the perfect partner, drawn from his side while he was unconscious. Just take a minute to think of your significant other, and then imagine them without any faults or sin. Yeah, that would be a beautiful thing, marriage is overwhelming enough even with the shortcomings of the post-fruit lifetime...just imagine it before then. Anyway, before I get off track here, Adam is in paradise, with his perfect partner... Do you think he would ever be far from his wife? The flesh of his flesh, and bone of his bones. Their marriage relationship was perfect up until that day. Adam wasn't far from his wife at all, in fact (despite the teaching) the Bible actually mentions in Genesis 3 that Adam was right there with his wife (Gen 3:6 ESV).
So, let's pause at the creepy talking snake scene for a second, and go back to what God actually said to Adam about this tree that Satan is referring to. Before he created Eve, God took Adam aside and said the following "You must surely eat of every tree in the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you must not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall die." Gen 2: 16b-17(ESV). You may be thinking "I know the deal....don't eat the fruit, why are we wasting time here?" God said you shouldn't eat the fruit, he didn't say anything about touching the tree. What's the difference? Glad you asked, eating involves plucking, biting, chewing, swallowing, and digesting....touching involves well....touching, that's it. When Satan tried to get Eve to eat the fruit, her response was that she wasn't to touch the tree. She didn't say anything about not eating. Now, did God tell her something that was wrong....probably not (He doesn't usually make mistakes). So, if you were Adam, and you had this awesome wife in this awesome garden and you knew that there was something nearby that if she plucked accidentally would kill her...what would you say? I know what I would say "Honey, I love ya, maybe you should just leave this tree alone....don't even touch it, because God said it would kill us" Sounds like a problem in communication to me, and I don't think the almighty Lord of all creation was the one that dropped the ball. In Romans 5 the Apostle Paul says that sin has been passed down through the disobedience of Adam, not Eve. Interesting, because Eve gave the fruit to her husband, not the other way around.
So what's the deal here? Here's how I see it, I think there could have been a communication problem between Adam and Eve regarding the tree, and when she was deceived Adam was there. Problem number one....there's no other account of a talking animal in the book of Genesis, so if the serpent was the only one why didn't Adam interrupt the conversation? I don't know to be honest, but you can be sure that he didn't discourage Eve from eating the fruit...because she ate it, and then fed it to him. There was no mention of Adam saying "Hey sweety...remember that tree I told you not to touch, yeah this is it. See ya later serpent dude." So Adam, watching his wife get duped, sees that she doesn't die automatically when she eats the fruit. I wonder what went through his mind when he took his bite.
Fortunately for him, we don't get to see that, we just know that Adam ate the fruit in full disregard/rebellion to what God had directly told him. That just sucks. Because Eve didn't really put up all that much of a defense, the curse regarding her involves mostly women, and relationship. Because Adam directly ignored God's command, knowing that it was completely wrong to do what he did the whole land (Earth) was cursed. So now we have broken relationships, and toil.

Why The Fall Sucked

2008-04-08T13:08:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I have to first of all state clearly for the sake of my audience, I am not a Bible scholar. I've spent little or no time in what most people would call "formal" study the Judea-Christian Bible (I call it Judea-Christian because, well....Christians weren't around in Old Testament times...weird). Anyway, the whole first few chapters of Genesis have always made me curious. God; the omnipotent, all knowing creator of the entire universe in which we live, makes one man and puts him in the middle of a garden called Eden. Unlike the rest of the creatures in the Garden, Adam has the power of rational thought and creativity which I assume is a part of that whole being created in God's image thing. What I mean by that is that God's image clearly has nothing to do with being a biped that walks upright and can manipulate the natural things around him into tools, I think God's image is more of a philosophical thing. Anyway, I digress. So, in this garden God plants two rather interesting trees: one for the knowledge of Good and evil, and one for eternal life. Which is pretty weird if you ask me, but in any case as the story goes....maybe God should have had Adam employ his God given skill to build a fence or something because Adam and his wife ate the knowledge fruit, and we've been screwed ever since.
So what's the big deal? It's a piece of fruit for crying out loud. I don't think that the fruit is really the central point of the story at all. We spend so much time trying to figure out why the fruit is special compared to the rest of the Garden that we miss what's happening on that cataclysmic afternoon. So Eve is talking to Satan (problem number 1...when the snake talks, walk away), and in the course of this conversation she decides that she somehow knows better than God, or worse, that God was lying to her. Cut it anyway you want to, when you read the story it's pretty simple.
Satan: Hey, God is lame, you should eat this fruit.... it's awesome.
Eve: No way man, God said I would die if I even touch this tree.
Satan: You're kidding, die if you touch it? I'm touching it right now, not dead yet.
Eve: I see your point, well that fruit does look tasty, and it's true....you aren't dead. I guess God was giving us the shaft or something...outta my way ya creepy talking snake. I'm getting me some fruit.
That's the New Matthew Translation of course. So really when you think about it, the new testament says that sin is everything that doesn't come from an attitude of faith (Rom 14:23). Eve's faith in God faltered when she considered the fact that he might be withholding from her. We've been in the same situation ever since. Oh God help us to trust you better.

In Europe

2008-02-25T09:02:00.000-08:00

Hi friends,
I'm touring through Europe right now, so my posting will be slightly behind on this blog. I'm sorry for "slacking off", but if you were in Hamburg, would you be sitting in front of a computer...I don't think so. Peace out, and look for travel stories later. There will be tales of circling airplanes and how one unfortunate London airport came to be known as "Catlick"

Matticus

Quote To Ponder II

2008-02-07T12:24:00.000-08:00

"If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties."
- Sir Francis Bacon

Humility is an interesting thing. Most of us don't really want to start anything at the beginning, we want to pick up a guitar and play like Jimi Hendrix or B.B King. Sadly the way a lot of people (myself included) approach faith is not very different. I'm no John Calvin, and it's doubtful that I'll ever be a Dietrich Bonhoffer, or Martin Luther. Although all three of those men are definite heroes of mine, and their lives have given me inspiration to keep scraping by with what I have.
Maybe if we started with being okay about having flaws and blemishes we would see God's work in our lives more readily. Perfection is brought through Christ, and people who are willing to punch their weight in life.

The Truth In Everything

2008-02-01T12:38:00.000-08:00

I used to go to the coast every Sunday with my best buddy Andy...I'm not sure he knew it at the time, but while we were crawling over rocks, taking pictures and drinking coffee, I was really getting to know Jesus better. For whatever reason, I seemed to understand certain bits of truth more than I do know. That truth being that God is very present in the ordinary settings, circumstances, and events of our lives. Sometimes I think I was getting more truth out of watching the huge waves of the Pacific surge and crash against the rocks of Pt. Cabrillo than sitting in a pew a few months later (don't get me wrong...I really dig church, but just stick with me for a bit here).
Ultimately I think that it was a good thing for me to start attending church; I think it's good for Christians to contribute to the church, what would happen if we all just did what we wanted to ever Sunday and never met with each other? We'd never meet, never have fellowship, never edify the body in a corporate way. Some people might say that would be a good thing, as if letting things be "organic" would somehow work out for the better of all of us. Knowing myself, I think I have a good insight into general human nature and I know what I would do were it not for the organized gathering of God's people...I would eventually be deceived by myself. My Christianity would first separate itself from the normal expression of faith, because I would be left to my own devices with no external checks. But Matticus, what about the Holy Spirit? Good question, I think that in order to both humble us, and teach us that he is bigger than we can fathom, God primarily uses other people to teach us about himself. How does that work out with the bible then? Simple...the bible was written by other people. Reading Paul's epistles is just as good as speaking with him face to face in a sense. Not as personal, but with the bible you can keep asking Paul to repeat himself by rereading his letters. If you were to attempt such a thing face to face, I'm almost positive that he would either write it down for you, or tell you to shut up. So, that being said if you cut yourself off from the fellowship of the Body of Christ, you're essentially telling the Head of all things to take a hike. After awhile, God just might go hiking, and leave you in the rut.
All that to say, I think that Christians who have become disciplined in the aspect of sharing in the community of faith need, also, to learn how to see God outside of that community. We need to shoot out the other side in a sense. We as Christians need to realign our views on what is sacred and what isn't. We've become myopic in that sense, reserving God's presence to certain circumstances and times, moods and sounds. We're all cool with hearing him in the hymns and songs we sing on Sunday morning (even though most modern worship songs are more self centered than they should be), but we're all (in one way or another) opposed to hearing him speak through a pop or folk singer that doesn't really look very holy. Perhaps, because they remind us that we're really no better than they are. We are all sinners of course, just because we ask for help doesn't make us special or better than those who don't. Or heaven forbid we all collectively just shut up for a second, and actually listen. Here's a suggestion, if worship "just isn't doing it for you" do something different! Look at things critically for a second, ask yourself, "What the hell am I really saying right now?", or "Am I really living like this?". Just to cover all my bases here, if you don't mean what you say pray that God would help you mean what you ought to be saying to him (because he is always, and ever worthy of praise). And for the love of God, if you aren't living it....change that. Start giving to the poor, I can guarantee that 10 times out of 10 that you pass up a homeless person you're supposed to give to him. Unless you don't have anything to give at the moment...meaning that you owe money somewhere...because if you owe it you don't own it, or you're naked...if you're naked, please run home and put on some clothes before you get arrested. I'm sure you'd make quite the scene at the local lockup.
"Got arrested for walkin around nekkid eh?"
"Yup, sure did. You see; I'm a Christian, and because the Bible tells me to give what I have to those who don't I walk around naked, so I wont have anything to give...because I'm not very generous."
God is ever present, at church, home, in a bar, renting movies, at plays and concerts, theatres, heavy metal mosh pits, in the gutter lying next to homeless meth addict we've all shunned. You can find that guy everywhere, which also means that we can help other people see him in everything by affirming the truth that lies behind the veil of our narrow observations.

"Seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you." Jesus of Nazareth

A Quote to ponder

2008-01-25T10:14:00.000-08:00

"Besides theology, music is the only art capable of affording peace and joy of the heart like that induced by the study of the science of divinity. The proof of this is that the Devil, the originator of sorrowful anxieties and restless troubles, flees before the sound of music almost as much as he does before the Word of God. This is why the prophets preferred music before all the other arts, proclaiming the Word in psalms and hymns. My heart, which is full of overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary."

Martin Luther

Perhaps we should all take some more time to sit and listen to good and edifying music. God created man to function in a holistic way, is it any wonder then that hearing something soothing might in fact settle our very spirits?

People Of God

2008-01-23T12:55:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a lot in regards to how the people of God ought to behave towards each, and the world in general these past few weeks. I can't say that I've come up with anything really deep or profound, but I have arrived at a few conclusions. First and foremost that the church is a family. Nothing more, nothing less. The reality of this is kind of veiled by our selfishness sometimes, but regardless of the fallen humanity within us we do have the means of grace that God has provided. Meaning that because we've been forgiven so much, we have the gift of being able to overcome ourselves, and our sinful desires. This means that when scripture calls us to view others as more important than ourselves, we, by grace, are able to be obediant. Secondly, in regards to the church, obedience is a choice. We've all been called by God into a higher means of life, an abundant life. He would not call us to something, and then prevent us from attaining the gift he is giving, therefore the only obstacle that stands in our way of this abundant life is ourselves. So what is this abundant life? I can't exactly answer it (and I sincerely doubt that any man can mine out the treasures in that phrase), but I think some of it's components are displayed in the Gospels. Abundant life is a life that would rather give than possess, rather serve than be served, that seeks the benefit of others instead of looking for it's own gain. Abundant life is a homeless man building a mansion for another, and returning to his shanty. We, as Christians, tend to sit and wonder why people aren't listening, and my answer to that would be the following question. Are we living the lives we ought to be? Do we tend to look after those who can't tend to themselves, or do we stare at the dashboard while a dejected man gazes hopefully through our car windows. Here's a thought to consider, in that moment, you are all the hope that man has. The Kingdom, in that moment, is within reach for both of you; all that needs to happen is for you to roll down your window, and reach into your wallet. To reach into yourself, and give for the sake of another in need.

Which brings me the second part of what I want to say, and that pertains to how we treat those around us who aren't living in covenant grace with God. I don't know why, but God seems to have decided that we are the best way for his good news to be passed on. God has revealed himself to us through Jesus, and wishes to reveal Jesus to the world through us. So the next time you wonder why people can't seem to get it together, perhaps it's because of our apparent inability to live the way God has called us to live. How are they going to see, if we're not even displaying grace to each other in the proportion that we've received it? Moreover none of us were much better when we were saved, so how can it be that we sit around and criticize those who are not empowered for holiness by the Holy Spirit? From the inside looking out, the world looks like a nasty place to be. People lie, cheat, steal, murder, the list goes on and on. Sadly, it will continue to go on and on unless we, the signs of God, walk in the midst of it. Not condemning but calling for justice and grace. It is not in our ability to see who is set apart, and who isn't until they respond. We just need to give them something to respond to. It's not the "Roman Road" or the Four Spiritual Laws. It's the Kingdom of God, and unless it's apparent in our lives, than the greatest treasure the world has ever known will remain hidden from those who need it the most.

True Ministry

2008-01-23T12:53:00.000-08:00

Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end. As it is said,
"Today, if you hear his voice,do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion."
Hebrews 3:12-15

If you really want to know more about who God is, and how he operates in your life, you must be careful not cut yourself off from other people, be that through hating the one who sins against you, or judging those who do no call on the name of Jesus. Each person walking past you on a daily level carries a unique stamp of God somewhere deep within themselves. Be that through his image being impressed on their hearts, or his spirit dwelling, and expanding inside of them. Therefore, we must not harden our hearts against each other, but eagerly pursue reconciliation and harmony (though not at the cost of truth) with all people. Exhorting, admonishing, rebuking, and encouraging each other to a deeper level of relationship with Jesus Christ. Before he ascended Jesus spoke to Peter near the Sea of Galilee; he asked Peter if he loved him, Peter said yes, and Jesus then instructed him to do something based on that love. He said "feed my sheep", what I've come to see in this passage is that if we truly love Jesus, we will then love those whom he created. You cannot hate people and claim to love God, in the same way you cannot claim to love people and hate God. If you want one you must embrace the othe. If you do not live in peace with his creation, you cannot live in peace with him. If you do not live at peace with Him, than it is impossible for you to maintain true peace with those around you.

Regarding Christian Controversies

2008-01-23T12:50:00.000-08:00

There are quite a number of things this Christmas season that many people have differing opinions on. It seems like the church against the world, but even on the inside of the debates and trifles we see the world against the world, and sadly the church against the church. I want to address two of these issues in this blog. First of all is the film The Golden Compass. I have not read the Dark Materials trilogy, nor do I know much about Philip Pullman that isn't heresay (which puts me on an equal footing with a great majority of those who so adamently protest against the film), but I must admit that, from the previews, it looks like a good movie. Even moreso, because I like good movies, I will go see it. I'll eagerly jump right in line with all those people who might be going specifically for the supposed anti-Christian message, sit right next to them in the theatre, and maybe even chat about the film superficially when my wife and I leave the theatre. I don't feel like the centuries of Christian truth can be swayed by a 2 hour movie. And even if they can, who's fault is that: Philip Pullman's, or ours? I do not at all feel that I need to convince people that they should see the movie (though I do feel it better that people see what is really going on for themselves), nor do I feel at all pressured by those who aren't going. However, I would say that we ought not to wage a war about a movie. Not on the unbelieving community, and much less opon ourselves.
Secondly, on the matter of the celebration of Christmas. I was unaware of such a controversy until recently. Clearly if one studies the bible it's pretty obvious that Jesus of Nazareth was not born on Dec. 25th. Just like it's equally obvious that the precise dates of his acsension are just as cloudy (but nobody will gripe about Easter). Does it have some weird practices....I can't say. I've never bowed down in front of a Christmas tree, nor have I prayed to Santa...although St. Nicholas might just be able to hear us from his place in glory. But to see the church, and the athiestic communities bickering so fiercely saddens me. That we, the church, should turn aside from a day to celebrate the fact that Jesus came, and is coming back to participate in such a childish diversion shows that the church in America clearly has too much time on it's hands. Even worse is the debate within the church. Ignorantly condemning people of participating in pagan ritual, judging Pastors and friends based on the installation of a Christmas tree into their homes and whether or not they sign their presents "Santa Claus". I will say that it is good to not buy into the materialism of the season. It's a trap set before us by those who would twist earnest sentiments into a bigger fiscal statement, and a higher stock quote. If you have a tree, do not judge those who don't. If you don't, do not judge those who do.

Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.

See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority. In him also you were circumcised with a circumcision made without hands, by putting off the body of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ, having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through faith in the powerful working of God, who raised him from the dead. And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.

Therefore let no one pass judgment on you in questions of food and drink, or with regard to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath. These are a shadow of the things to come, but the substance belongs to Christ. Let no one disqualify you, insisting on asceticism and worship of angels, going on in detail about visions, puffed up without reason by his sensuous mind, and notholding fast to the Head, from whom the whole body, nourished and knit together through its joints and ligaments, grows with a growth that is from God.

If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations— "Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch" referring to things that all perish as they are used—according to human precepts and teachings? These have indeed an appearance of wisdom in promoting self-made religion and asceticism and severity to the body, but they are of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh.

Col.2:6-23

So if you have a tree or not, or you see the Golden Compass or not. Understand that you have the freedom of the grace of God which is found in Christ. So whatever you choose to do this Christmas season do it for the Glory of God, and as such, do it in such a way that glorifies our Father in Heaven.

Progress

2008-01-23T12:47:00.000-08:00

I see a new dawn rising,
like some ruffian conductor raising his baton to count the time.
It goes down like coffee in the frigid winter,
or summer rum with ice and lime.
All hard to explain,
Just taste for yourself.

I feel the blazing retire of the evening sun,
dragged down like a cokehead at lockup,
cold steel biting into tense determination.
stubbornly painting beauty into the darkness.
A jagged pill to swallow,
So shed your tear, and choke it down.

I've heard the quiet moon still rises,
casting solemn shadows like curtains over my ruined sphere,
some say it feels like a blanketed child breathing:
soft into the night air.
A quiet assurance that all is well with me despite the pain,
so brush off the dust of yesterday, and stroll on to hope.

Snow

2008-01-23T12:40:00.000-08:00

I like the snow. My friend Wells tells me that everything gets quiet when it snows because the density of the snowflakes squashes soundwaves as they travel through the atmosphere. It also makes me think of hope, because if you're inside away from all the windows you don't even know what's going on. But once you look outside, everything is different. I think God works that way a lot. Which I think is great.
Somewhere in the Gospels Jesus tells his friends a story about a farmer that went out into his field and planted a bunch of seeds, and then his jerk of a neighbor came along when he wasn't watching and planted a bunch of weeds in with his crop. The farmer didn't know anything about it until all the plants had grown up, and when he looked out at what he had planted he noticed the weeds . I've done a little bit of gardening/farming stuff in my life (mostly when I was a kid), but I can say this with confidence. That would piss me right off. But the planter didn't really seem to mind all that much, his workers came in and asked if he wanted them to pull the weeds out, but he told them not to. He said that if they pulled up the weeds, it would damage the crop. He said that it would be better to harvest them all when the time was right and seperate the weeds from desired plants then. I know that's an agricultural fact because if any of the root structures grew close to each other they would be fairly tangled together. So pulling the weeds would have devastated the plants he wanted.
I used to think the field represented the all of Christianity, and that at the end of days Jesus would separate the sheep from the goats and so on and so forth. I've gone through some stuff this year that has showed me how this passage relates to me on a purely personal level. It's funny, sometimes we don't even notice the fact that we're changing, we don't really notice anything about it until the change is complete and we find ourselves behaving in a strangely more Christlike manner. I think God does that kind of thing in such a gentle patient manner because were somebody to tug at the weeds before we were harvested, it would destroy our softness of heart. I love that about God.

Hi Everybody

2008-01-22T16:42:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the new and improved Head Room. I want to thank all of my readers from myspace who have supported my writing, and put up with my wacky ideas of life, love, and God. I hope you don't terribly mind the change from myspace to this e-blog. I'm hoping that by posting on this I will find a wider audience (which is good for a writer). Don't freak out, I'm not going to up and stop posting on myspace, it's just a copy and paste from one place to another kinda thing. But Matticus, why would you do such a thing? Simple....some people don't like myspace, and I don't blame them. Eventually I might phase the myspace blogging out to this page and close everything I've written on myspace out, but I will still announce my blog postings via myspace bulletin. Thanks for your time.